God Emeritus

Philippians 2:7
he emptied himself (CEB)
               [he] stripped himself of all privilege (Phillips)

[Scripture taken from the Common English Bible®, CEB® Copyright © 2010, 2011 by Common English Bible.Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide and J. B. Phillips, The New Testament in Modern English”, 1962 edition by HarperCollins]

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Creative Commons “And how’s Mrs. Emeritus and the little Emerituses doing?”” by Laurence Simon (Crap Mariner) is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Press Release: God Granted Emeritus Status

The World Academy of Interfaith Theologians concluded its centennial convocation by announcing the results of its research investigating committee into God’s tenure as Supreme Ruler of the Universe and the approval of their recommendation of granting Him [sic] eternal status as “God emeritus.” The following announcement was read at a morning press conference:

The religions of the world greatly appreciate God’s participation in human history since the first human being evolved or was created. God’s tireless energy in running the universe and intervening in history will never again be equalled. He [sic] established multiple examples of “the only true religion” and is noted for the many religious leaders throughout history who were able to proclaim, “I know exactly what God wants for your life…” God has tirelessly answered prayers offered in 4,783 different languages and dialects (with more languages and dialects being added each month).

The announcement that “God is Dead” in the 1960s was premature. Since then, however, God’s position as Supreme Ruler of the Universe (colloqually, “the Big Guy in the Sky”) has continued to be eroded with advancements in medicine and technology, the development of the Big Bang theory, and the discovery of the Higgs boson (the “God particle”) at CERN. To prevent His [sic] sheer exhaustion and/or total neglect, the Academy has intervened and granted God all the rights and privileges of Emeritus.

The Academy is aware that there are many projects that have been promised or actually begun in God’s name. They will continue, but it will be the responsibility of all those who previously had been under God’s influence to pick up the slack and take responsibility to see them to their proper conclusion. If you are involved in one of these projects, you may continue to proclaim that you are working in God’s name only if the results of that work will produce compassion, peace, and justice that contributes to the well-being of all in society.

God was unavailable for comments.


Karen Armstrong on Kenosis (emptying):

We are, the great spiritual writers insist, most fully ourselves when we give ourselves away, and it is egotism that holds us back from that transcendent experience that has been called God, Nirvana, Brahman, or the Tao. … We are most creative and sense other possibilities that transcend our ordinary experience when we leave ourselves behind.  (The Spiral Staircase, 2004)


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